


Right Person, Right Time

by Aunt_Kathy



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:59:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1267444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aunt_Kathy/pseuds/Aunt_Kathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows on from Season 1's episode 'The Titans' in which Gabrielle comes close to both incurring the wrath of Hyperius and losing her virginity [both of which are pretty big moments in a woman's life if you ask me]. I can't believe that the two of them never talked about the latter afterwards…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Person, Right Time

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new to this fandom, so I beg forgiveness for anything that doesn't match up to later episodes/ character development. For this reason it's possible that this has been done before. However, I hope you still enjoy reading this. I'm not sure if I'll continue writing Xena fics- it depends on whether my muse is kind to me and whether this is liked by all you readers.  
> Rating might change depending on the content of later chapters.
> 
> I'm dedicating this to the two people whom I have to blame for getting me into this fandom, and this pairing- Oystercatcher1 (because you said that you liked the part I wrote with you in mind) and Singing Violin (thanks, SV for also betaing this one).

It was just beginning to grow cold that night as Gabrielle managed to sit down by the campfire and think about her day. She watched the flames flicker and the sparks fly as she considered what had happened. Yes, she had released three titans, with disastrous consequences— however, she found herself preoccupied by another thought entirely.

_I almost lost my virginity last night._  Somehow the thought was deeply unsettling. She couldn't quite tell why: it wasn't as though she was too young; she was old enough to be married and most likely would be if she had not left home to be with Xena. But there was something else. She had always thought that she would wait for the right man, but somehow finding him on this trip seemed wholly unlikely. What was she going to do? Stumble across him in a passing village and then let Xena go on alone?

_No. I would never do that._  She had come to care extremely deeply— perhaps even more so than anyone else she had ever known— for the warrior princess in the short time that she had known her. She felt safe with Xena, and not just because the dark-haired beauty was able to protect her from harm. There was something else to this. She just felt… unbelievably close to the older woman in a way she was unused to.

A few meters away, Xena was seeing to her horse. Or at least that was what she had told Gabrielle she was going to do. Actually, she was watching the blonde from afar, trying to make sense of her own emotions. She had never felt so… empty—as she had when she'd seen Gabrielle together with Phyleus in that room. It was a feeling she didn't seem able to shake. Ever since she'd seen them lying next to each other… him with his arms around her—

She took a deep breath and unclenched her hand from where it was fisted around the edge of her saddle. In that moment, she had felt so much and so little all at the same time. She had been disappointed, hurt, and jealous—all because she had allowed herself to care too closely about Gabrielle. She knew that she had no right whatsoever to be angry at Gabrielle for seeking comfort from someone , and that she shouldn't have been jealous of Phyleus—but she had been. They had known each other for barely a day, and already he had been enjoying liberties with Gabrielle that Xena had only dreamed of. Xena longed to be able to hold her close, to be the person she chose to seek comfort from. It hurt to know that she might never have a chance of that type of intimacy with Gabrielle. For now, they were friends, and nothing more. She would have to be content with that.

After all, having a small piece of her was surely better than having no part of her at all, right? Xena had first become aware of these feelings for her friend a few short weeks ago, when she had met Marcus once more. Seeing her former lover again had not incurred the feelings she had expected. She had thought she'd feel regret at leaving him behind, along with her old life, one of anger and violence that Marcus had shared in. However, she had not. Any attraction shown towards him during their brief reunion had been faked. Yes, she still cared about him—very much so—but the physical spark they had enjoyed had gone, and not even embers remained of their passion for one another. That passion had died out like a fire before sunrise, as another, stronger-burning fire had taken its place.

She sighed quietly and looked over at her young companion, feeling her anger and jealousy ebb as she regarded the woman by the fire. Gabrielle was frowning slightly, obviously deep in thought. She smiled slightly at the small furrow that had formed between her friend's delicate eyebrows. It made her look adorable. But then, Gabrielle looked adorable to her no matter what. She was beautiful; there was no doubt about that.

_Just like there's no doubt that others are attracted to her as well._  Xena felt her jealousy surge again, but this time it was accompanied by concern.  _What if something similar happens again? If Gabrielle is attracted to another man in another village?_  There was a distinct possibility that they could make her far happier than Xena could ever hope to. She hung her head slightly and swallowed.

_If that day comes, I'll have to be content to let her go. I can't ever be what she wants._  The thought hurt more than the sight of Gabrielle with Phyleus had. She was angry at herself— for letting herself become vulnerable in this way, but more for letting this opportunity slip through her fingers.

Deciding that she had brooded quite enough over the situation for now, Xena took a deep breath and returned to sit next to Gabrielle by the fire.

Unaware that Xena's mind was churning over similar events, Gabrielle was still lost in what had happened earlier in the day.  _I was going to be with Phyleus. I was actually going to do it. And all because I was angry at Xena!_ Gabrielle caught herself _. Wait, why would my being angry at Xena have anything to do with that?_   _I mean, yes I was upset with her, but why would that lead me to try to have sex with Phyleus?_ As she looked back on it, the whole concept of sleeping with Phyleus seemed unappealing. Yes, it would have been special because, as he had confided in her later on, it would have been his first time too, but Gabrielle had a feeling that would most likely have made matters worse: both of them would have lacked experience for it to be enjoyable for the other. And besides, something told her that she would most definitely have regretted sleeping with him afterwards—and it wasn't just because she wouldn't have been able to return the titans to stone.

"Gabrielle?" The small woman was so startled at Xena's soft voice and tender touch on her shoulder that she almost fell back onto the ground. She could see that Xena was trying to hide a smile as she asked her another question, "Are you all right?"

Gabrielle thought about this for a moment, which worried her friend as it didn't normally take long for Gabrielle to come up with a response to that question, even if it was simply "Yes, I'm fine." However, the reply that she gave was not nearly as comforting. "I honestly don't know."

Xena saw that something was troubling her companion, and shuffled slightly closer, turning her body so she could watch Gabrielle's expression more closely. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Gabrielle's voice was firm, the frown still present as she turned back to the fire, the flames dancing in her eyes and over her hair in a way that made Xena's breath catch. "But I probably should. I mean, I know you can keep things all to yourself, but if I do that they just bounce around my head for ages and give me a headache."

_I know exactly what you mean_ , thought the solemn brunette as she ducked her head, not wanting to catch Gabrielle's eyes, afraid that they might reveal a little too much. "Tell me what's on your mind. I might be able to help."

Gabrielle twitched her eyebrows a little, her expression skeptical as she looked Xena in the face.

"Or," continued Xena, "if I can't help, I'll certainly try to give you a fresh perspective."

Gabrielle frowned, but she was known to exhibit many different types of frowns, and Xena was distressed to see this was not the 'are you joking or are you serious frown', nor the 'I'm going to be pretend to be angry with you frown', but the 'I'm upset and I'm trying to hide it' frown.

"Surely that's got to be better than just debating against yourself, right?"

She heard Gabrielle sigh. Looking up, Xena noticed that she looked weary. A lack of sleep the night before was understandable, as Gabrielle had most likely been fretting about her actions yesterday.

And 'talking' to Phyleus- the jealousy surged inside her. Yes, Gabrielle had said she was still a virgin, but that didn't mean that she hadn't engaged in any other 'activities' with him. Xena quickly suppressed that part of her, trying her hardest to focus all her attention on Gabrielle. She needed someone to talk to about what had happened and, right now, Xena was the only other person there.  _I'm sure she was far too preoccupied with having awoken the titans to do anything with Phyleus_ , she told herself, but the thought was hollow, providing no comfort to her at all.

"Gabrielle, it's okay. I mean, it's not every day that you unleash the will of the titans, even if you are doing it with honorable intentions—"

"You think that that's what this is about?" Gabrielle twisted away, angry at the implication.

Although caught off-guard by the small outburst, Xena reached out again, laying her hand flat on her friend's back. "Gabrielle, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't," muttered the blonde quietly, unconsciously leaning into the touch.

"Is it…" Xena swallowed, desperately hoping that she would be wrong in her next guess. "Is this anything to do with… Phyleus?"

Gabrielle fought desperately against the tears that were welling up along her lids and threatening to spill over and down her cheeks. If there was one person she would feel safe showing this vulnerability to, it was Xena. She knew that she could trust her with this. "Yes."

The empty feeling that Xena had encountered earlier came back. It didn't hit her in the chest with the same impact it had earlier, but crept in slowly this time, settling both in her chest and the pit of her stomach as she considered the implications of the answer Gabrielle had given.

"I…" began Gabrielle, and Xena was suddenly heartened that Gabrielle was going to let her help get this off her chest, but also fearful, as she didn't necessarily want to hear the details of what had gone on between her and Phyleus, no matter now brief their affiliation had been. Doing as she had done on countless occasions before, she pushed her emotions aside. If a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear was what Gabrielle needed right now, it was what Xena was going to give her. Gabrielle leant against her, apparently not minding the twists of metal on Xena's armor that must have been digging into her as she laid her head against the shoulder of the warrior princess.

"I don't know where to begin," she said honestly, her voice a little weak as she considered what had taken place between her and Phyleus. Xena felt her take a deep, shuddering breath, and she mustered the strength necessary to continue. She then heard her continue in a much smaller voice: "I mean… I felt close to him, trusted him, cared for him. I didn't think it was this possible to… regret something  _this_  much."

Xena swallowed. She didn't know if she could do this: console the one person she cherished above all else while they pined for another person entirely. She was worried that her control over her feelings for Gabrielle would slip and her judgment might become clouded. If that happened, it would be likely that she would lash out at Gabrielle and make things worse rather than better. Wrapping an arm around Gabrielle, she held the younger woman as close as she dared to.

"What happened between you and him, Gabrielle, it's…"  _something I will always be jealous of him for, something that I could never hope of doing with you, and something that I hope doesn't cause you as much pain as it's causing me_ — "it's in the past. Don't regret what you did with him."

Gabrielle frowned. This time it was the 'okay, now you've lost me' frown, and Xena relaxed a little. "What do you think I did with him?"

"I-I…" Xena faltered in a most un-Xena-like way. Xena, warrior princess, feared and revered, never faltered. Unless she was in the presence of a small, feisty strawberry blonde.

"Nothing happened between Phyleus and me." It took almost all Xena's remaining composure not to sigh out loud in relief at this news. "Yes, we spent the night together. But we talked. Then, when we settled down for the night he took me into the room behind the curtain. He might have had something planned, and I might have let him go through with it, but I don't know what I would have done now. You interrupted us before I had a chance to find out, Xena."  _That's not true_ , Gabrielle, she thought to herself,  _you know exactly what would have happened if Xena hadn't interrupted_.  _He would have come on to you and then you would have—_

"Are you angry at me for it?"

"I was. I was furious. I can remember thinking, ''How dare she?', 'How dare she interrupt me now while I'm getting close to someone?'"

"And now?" Xena had to know. She simply had to.

Gabrielle considered this for a moment, watching Xena's face closely. She saw some apprehension in the piercing blue eyes, and decided to be honest with her friend. She wasn't worth losing over something like this. "I'm not angry at you for that now, no. If anything I'm… relieved."

Now it was Xena's turn to frown. "What do you mean?"

"I regret getting close to him while at the same time not regretting it. I regret that things between him and me didn't go further, and for not letting them go any further. But, at the same time, I'm grateful that you interrupted us when you did. Looking back on it, I think it was good that I didn't let myself get too involved with."

"I can certainly see why you seem confused by all this." Xena took a deep breath quietly so as not to show Gabrielle the relief she felt. "I certainly would be if it were me in your position."

"But you were once, weren't you?" Seeing Xena raise one eyebrow in an almost-menacing manner, Gabrielle elaborated: "I-I mean… you're not a… um… a…"

"…a virgin?" asked Xena, deciding to put her out of her misery and silently delighting in the adorable blush that spread over her friend's cheeks. "No, I'm not."

"Did… uh... did you regret it?" queried Gabrielle nervously, and Xena had to purse her lips slightly to suppress the smile she could feel building. She looked up at the sky for a moment, taking a moment to gather her thoughts on the matter. The sun had set and the horizon was a pale blue, but growing darker as the evening progressed.

"The first time, yes," she replied, her expression serious. Looking back into Gabrielle's soft green gaze she continued: "Before it had happened, I thought it was the right time for me, that it was something I was ready for and therefore wouldn't regret. But… I was wrong. Afterwards I regretted it deeply."

Xena turned fully to Gabrielle, taking both of the blonde's pale hands in her own. She noticed how small they were, how delicate they seemed, despite the fact that she knew Gabrielle was crafty with them. She didn't know that Gabrielle had stifled a gasp when Xena had reached for her hands, and was marveling at the tender hold with which she now encapsulated them. She had known those hands to be strong, and the fingers to be nimble, but she had never considered that they, although battle-roughened in places, could be so very gentle with hers. For some reason, she found the idea highly…  _exciting_.

"Gabrielle, you will find the right person. When you do, the right time for you will happen. Don't force it, and don't rush yourself. Be sure of what you want." She paused for a moment, making sure that this was being taken in by her companion.

But it was. Gabrielle couldn't remember ever feeling this enraptured by another person. Phyleus had certainly failed to hold her attention quite like this. It was invigorating to have Xena's piercing blue stare directed fully at her. She felt like she was the only person in the world that mattered to Xena, the only person that was worth holding such unwavering focus.

Gabrielle wasn't the only one who was having a revelation, though. Xena realized that she should never try to keep Gabrielle with her against her choice. What she had just said was true: the right person for the young woman would show up at some point. All she could do was make sure that she would be happy with whomever that turned out to be. When it happened, Xena would have to content herself with the fact that it wasn't going to be her, and that she would have to find some peace in seeing Gabrielle happy with another person.

"What if… what if I have found the right person?" asked Gabrielle quietly, feeling her heartbeat catch as Xena ran her thumbs over the backs of her hands softly. "What if I've already found them and they don't feel the same way about me? Or if they do and I don't know? For all I know I might have already met this 'right person' for me, Xena. Or what if there isn't a right person for me at all?"

"There is. Just… be patient. I can understand why you wanted to 'get it over with' when you were with Phyleus, but that you're relieved about it not happening is a good thing, believe me. The person will come along. I'm not saying that you'll know it right away, because it's never that simple, but you'll know when it matters."

Looking into Xena's eyes, the kindness in them reinforced by a small smile that graced the warrior princess's lips, Gabrielle couldn't help but feel that there was something she was missing, something that was staring her in the face but that she hadn't quite managed to figure out yet—

_Wait… I know. I do know… it's her… oh my God… it's Xena._

Barely a second after the thought had formed in Gabrielle's mind, she felt her eyelids flutter closed as she leant forwards to place her lips against those of the woman in front of her.


End file.
